I would be pissed as shit.

Alarm goes off. Wake up in a hotel room in Zimbabwe.
Brush your teeth, take a piss a dump and a shower. Throw in a wank.

Its game day.

Make your way down to the lobby, eat the nutritious garbage they feed you, when all you wanna eat is some rice and pol Sambol.

Hop on the bus. Listen to the ipod.

Its hot and all you want is an ice bath.

Instead, you are being asked to warm up, its Zimbabwe for fucks sake.

Mahela goes out for the toss, he wins. You are happy. Put the legs up and take a snooze.

Read a magazine, check the email.

Read theflyslip, no ones dissing you.
You are happy.

An hour later you are scrambling to find your pads and end up walking out without your box and your gloves.

Theres 20 overs to go and you are being asked to play a long innings.

You are pissed as hell, cuz you know in another hour you gotta come out and defend this and win the game.

This isnt what you signed up for.

This isnt what we talked about in the team meeting.

In the end you just wish this was played in India,

At least then you can ride that bike you get for Man of the Match back to the hotel.

sri lanka v zimbabwe

Its been slowly heating up and it seems things maybe coming to a boil.

Is Mahela the right man to lead Sri Lanka. This is not an easy question to answer and many are divided on the issue.

Mahela – the republican candidate.

Conservatism has crept into his leadership. Once a man who was aggressive and forward thinking, Mahela in the last year or so has taken a visible step in the wrong direction.

He is now prepared to let the game unfold instead of taking control of the game.

Often we are led to endure dire field placings with no one on the leg side during ODIs.
Some bowling changes baffle even the ardent of Mahela supporters.

Captaincy is definitely not a science but neither is it rocket science. If a captain is as good his team then surely the team is as good as the way its lead. At least when you are in the field.

Sangakkara– the ‘Obama’ candidate.

Many feel he is the man who will revolutionize Sri Lankan cricket. He understands everyone’s plight and promises much. Change will come if he is given the job they say.

But will it really?

Sangakkara is viewed by everyone as a intellect who will bring new ideas and a common sense approach to the leadership role. His emphasis on hard work and discipline.

My view is that Sangakkara will only mildly improve on Mahela. He will at best be a Graeme Smith or a Kevin Peitersen. Reaching Dhoni status is unlikely.

Why? I think he has been ‘institutionalized’ under the Bayliss era. He is happy to play vice captain and offer his advice but apart from that neither Mahela nor Sangakkara show the enthusiasm they showed under Moody.

Mahela and Sangakkara are so finely tuned into each others thoughts that if they were lovers they would be finishing each others sentences.

If Sangakkaras influence was a big factor on the field then his innovative thoughts might be visible through what happens in a game. But rarely do we see anything of the sort these days.

So who is better. Neither.

What we need is a Maverick.

mahela jayawardane sangakkara

Zimbabwe have been uber cool in the last couple of games.

They have made runs and gotten wickets.

You cant really ask for more than that from a cricket team.

They know no one gives them a chance, Sri Lanka knows it too.

This doesn’t worry them though. Which is good.
Free spirited and punching two divisions above their weight they have managed to worry all the Sri Lankan batsmen.

Hamilton Mazakadza knows how to handle the willow, get him some minor English league contract I say. Although he might end up playing for England.

Muripawa and Chigumbura have been troubling the Sri Lankans all tour long. Which begs the question.

How will SL play against the even Mightier Bangladeshis in a few weeks time.

Testis.

The last Sri Lankan testi count had them at 17.

So thats one each for Udawatte, Tharanga, Kapu, Prasad and Mirando.

Mahela – 2

Sanga – 5
Murali – 5

Splendid – is not measured in mere moral testi counts. He is a superior being and will not be subject to trivial forms of measurements.

Did we mention he picked up a 6fer, it was quite brilliant. Looks like he still on track for the 25 wickets we predicted with a game to go.

He has 15 so far.

Back to testis, yesterday we saw witnessed the birth of a of peanut sized testi.

It takes a lot to come back from a scud missile like this.

That post was the rave of the town, all the cool kids were reading it.

Maybe the man himself read it, we certainly think so.

Yes, Jehan grew a testi. Not quite Sanath Jayasuriya sized but it was enough to beat the Zimbabweans.

Testis are important, without them you are nothing. People dont take you seriously.

Your team mates will shun you.

The problems with testis though, they aint permanent.

Once you grow a couple you gotta do well to keep em.

Elton Chigumbura flyslip jehan mubarak sri lanka v zimbabwe Tawanda Mupariwa zimbabwe

Is Jehan Mubarak the luckiest bastard ever to play cricket for Sri Lanka?

Proverbial butt of all jokes, Richie J or Chuubarak (translated to ‘in need of a piss’) as he is fondly known in the online Sri Lankan cricketing community, has led a charmed life unlike no other in the national team.

What warrants such treatment you ask.

(At this point I refrain from using reference to his Dads deep pockets, but by just saying that I have implicated that it has something to do with his selection, We are clever like that)

It sure as hell aint cuz of his fantastical record.

Averages 15 in 10 tests and 22 in 32 ODIs.

What the fuck is our obsession with mediocre middle order batsman.

We have had to deal with Dilshan and Silva, all talented, but never delivering consistently.

Add Chuubarak to that list.

No, make him the king of useless middle order batsmen.

What really pisses the fuck out of this whole story is that we have better batsmen than him.

Like who? How about we start with Thilina Kandamby.

Better averages in every format.

More 100s. In less games.

Has 2 paragraphs in his cricinfo profile compared to Chuubaraks 1.

Is younger.

Led Sri Lanka A to a series win in South Africa, that has never been done by any Sri Lankan captain, in an A team or otherwise.

He was 2nd on the list for most runs last year in Tier A.

Mubaraks not even on the list.

Too harsh? Fuck that. Thilina deserves a place in the team and it should be Mubarak who is dropped.

Jehan, I backed you when you came on the scene, but its time to cut the cord.

jehan mubarak thilina kandamby

Yesterday Jrod advertised a few t-shirts which were cool.

You can have a look at thems here.

Upon finding out they were not selling one of Ranjit, we did the next best thing.

We made our own. Actually my friend Shelby made em. Him is a top man.

‘Tis be very cool. We give you

The Ranjit

If you are not sure about the text, its in reference to the 07 WC match between England and SL, when England needed 4 runs to win off the last ball.

Bopara was on strike against Fernando

After the final ball was bowled Ranjit got so excited, He called him Bopara Fernando.

He then drivelled on thinking England won.

Later of course he realised the ball had hit the stumps and richoched off to the boundary.

If you really want to buy this T shirt, and you really should, you could email us.

But it wont get you very far.

ranjit fernando