Australia v South Africa, most likely to loose their balls

The biggest test series of the year has on offer some big balls that will be lost during the Australian summer.

Who do we think it will be ? Glad you asked.

At number 3.

Graeme Smith.

What the who the what the what the who ?
Scorer of 5 hundreds this year. Average of 50 . How does he get on the list you ask?

Its ‘Stralia mate. Smith is going be targeted cuz frankly the Aussies don’t like him or his big muppet mouth.

With an outstanding average of sub 25 against the Aussies, its down to 20 when he visits the land down under, Smith will wish he was playing Bangladesh before the 2nd test starts.

Its true that Mcgrath and Warne will be missing. But Lee, Johnson and Sizzle are unlikely to let Smith get away. All 3 bowl excellent lines out side the off stump at a good click with swing. Smith no likey the swing.


If he scores a hundred we will write an entire post on how awesome it is that a man of his ‘stature’ did his nation proud

Are you fucking kidding me. Of course we wont.

Número Dos

Andrew Symonds.

Fishing seems to have messed with his head. He looked ordinary against the Kiwis and has a record against the Saffers that Smith himself would be embarrassed by.

Symmo is a very good player against spin and with SA having none of those finger tweaking types the raw pace of Steyn, Morkel might worry him. He was troubled by Nel the last time the South Africans toured so even Ntini might have a shot at this.

This is a bit of a punt on our part though, with the IPL transfer window looming, Symonds might just show us why he is one the most devastating batsmen in cricket.


One-nut-Roy by the end of the tour.

The GrandDaddy, Number 1 , Mmm Can you feel it ?

Paul Harris

No prizes for guessing why he is picked.

The 47 batsmen who got out to him in test cricket needs to be lined up and tickled with a feather boa till they cry in shame.

Actually Paul Harris might be the reason Symonds does not loose his balls.

When he gets sent over the ropes we will giggle with delight.

And none of that one-arm-in-the-air jumping appeal things after every ball. Fuck I just wanna shoot this fucker when I see him.

Fuck off, just fuck off.


  1. Vivek said:

    one pllayer who has always lost his balls against australia is kallis…may be ,jus maybe this time around , with no M & W to taunt and bamboozle him, he may find it

    December 16, 2008
  2. africo said:

    hmmmm…. take out smith and replace him with lee. he already looks like a wounded animal and will become smith’s, amla’s, kallis’ and harris’ bunny
    ( he’s no mug with the bat 😉 ) .. either him or johnson (siddle’s gonna get smashed so much he’ll decline to play international cricket again – that’s if he’s selected.. .probable match figures 1-259 🙂 )
    either way someone’s gonna cry, leave the field and pull a chris lewis … sunstroke excuse… and it won’t be a protea.. we flower in all conditions, particularly thriving on aussie nervousness and fear ( yup, they are scared)

    ankle-less and loving it

    December 16, 2008
  3. achettup said:

    tsk tsk tsk, such hatred, I mean Paul Harris is just about as harmless as Guy Whittal, how could you even dislike him?!? But honestly Lee, Johnson and fiddling sizzle troubling anyone? I said it would be 1-0 when Clark was in the squad, I’m definitely going to have to revise that, though there does seem he might make it back for the return clash. No offence but this Australian fast bowling attack is now the fifth weakest attack in International Cricket.

    December 16, 2008
  4. Vivek said:

    speaking of Guy Whittal,that guy had some balls,reverse sweept donald’s 150 kms/hr thunderbolts….FUCKING BALLS!!!!

    December 16, 2008
  5. insideEdge said:

    With no Stuart Clark, Smith may save at least one nut.

    Paul Harris is similar to Muddy Singh Panesar for England and equally innocous. They rely on batsmen to get themselves out. At least Harris doesn’t appeal when the ball pitched 5 feet outside leg, as confused ole Muddy did (Sehwag’s reaction of slapping his head was priceless).

    I bet England regret not paying Bloomfield two bottles of Arrack to get Muddy some match practice.

    December 16, 2008
  6. Who knows what is in the mind of Morne Morkel? If anything. Steyny-boy dropped his nuts at Lord’s, too.

    December 16, 2008
  7. i think its a foregone conclusion that no matter how woeful the aussies get, they’ll whip the saffers blind…

    but moving on to harris, another great reason to hate him – he managed to dismiss in a frankly humiliating manner one of the modern game’s most lovable character in his final innings as he went to set his country’s all time batting record and missed it by one shot. and the guy happened to be one of the best players of spin i had ever seen.

    inzy, RIP

    harris – you are the reason young muslims are being driven into hate-filled fanaticism.

    December 16, 2008
  8. damiths said:

    Sach> Google him. But dont blame me when you find something you dont like.

    Vivek> We think the slow bludger might actually do some good this time. With Warne missing it could be his time.

    africo> A good imagination is always a good thing- thats what my mom always told me

    Q> Picking on the small island ppl I see. Very mature!

    acht> No hatred, just mild annoyance at Harris. Besides, does’nt everyone hate the Saffers, except the saffers themselves ?

    Ps- Dont rule out Sizzle, he bowled pretty well in India without much luck.

    Vivek> Whittal was a cool player, shame what happened to Zim.

    Insideedge> Clarke’s absence does tilt the cards in Smiths fav a little bit. But he should be in for the 2nd n 3rd. Plenty of time to loose both nuts.

    ECB went all greedy, all Bloomfied asked for was two bottles of arrack, a months supply of kottu and 7000 pounds. Cheap bastards them ECB buggers.

    TOB>He does look a bit like a man who does not engage in much thought. Their dodgy ankles might play a role too.

    KK> Bring on the Harris Hate. We are loving it !

    December 16, 2008
  9. sam said:

    O Damith Pai (bro),

    Why saying wrong ji ? Aus and SA cannot be the biggest oppnonents ji. 4 of SA s wins are against BD, they couldnt win in India, they always loose in SL,

    Aussies have lost few players, but their attack at home is better than the rest…ANd for SA, the batting is weak link. Take out Smith and the batting looks vulnerable with fading Kallis, slow low Amla, unconvincing Prince and of coure born again McKenzie…………

    Paul Harris, Lord Harris was made to look great by us, but he isnt even a 1st class bowler………he s gonna be fired by Hayden who would also play to salvage his career before Ashes begins………..

    An India vs Aus contest is always the biggest one, Aus vs Eng, followed by India vs Pakistan which now doesnt look to be a reality for some time!!

    December 16, 2008
  10. scorpicity said:

    Looks like Ponting and Hussey earned a grand duck in spectacular fashion! Match is on.

    December 16, 2008
  11. Bralee said:

    “If he scores a hundred we will write an entire post on how awesome it is that a man of his ‘stature’ did his nation proud

    Are you fucking kidding me. Of course we wont.’


    December 22, 2008

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