Being a Sri Lankan cricket fan right now is a bit like being an alcoholic. A manic depressive. And Ted Bundy.

For the longest time, you deny that  you even have a problem. You start with a couple of world cup final losses. A test match here and there. And before you know it you are knee deep in series losses. Improbable losses and just end up feeling ashamed.

You cry by yourself. You contemplate cutting yourself. You call up a sponsor and talk to him about supporting the new and young Australian side and then they get rolled over for 47. This leads you to googling about symptoms of depression. And convince yourself you are without much hope.

You stay up late, in the dark, in your living room, just mumbling to yourself. You masturbate to clips of old wins on  youtube. This makes you both happy and sad at the same time.

Then when you least expect it you’re given a chance to think that maybe you’ve sorted yourself out. But a couple of days later you fall off the wagon harder than you ever have.

The fact that I am writing this out is proof I know I have a problem. Help us. Help us.

sri lanka v pakistan 2011

Hello All,

You  may have received a msg yesterday when trying to view the blog about malware and how the site was unsafe to visit and view.

That was basically google going a wee bit nuts after realising what was about to happen in Capetown. There was nothing wrong. All sorted now. We aren’t evil people trying to steal your internet banking details.

Sorry about all the hallabalooo.

Should you still have any problems -Pls send me your

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Whoa, settle down ACSU. We were just kidding around. A joke really. Yes we know it’s not very funny.

You cant even say the words Spot Fixing at an airport anymore. Not unless you wanted some of your private spots examined by an airport security official with a deadpan look on their face. It’s just not on. See what happened to that Butt fella and his friends.

We certainly couldnt do it. It just sounds like a lot of work.

First, you need to know some dodgy characters. Or rather they have to find you. That is not easy. Not for them to find us. But for you to get them to find you. Then you would need a multitude of mobile phones and use them to make lots of phone calls. We don’t like getting on the phone to anyone.  Texting. Coordinating. Trying to convince others.

And all this while having to attend nets and oil your bat.

Even then, can you imagine trying to remember when to bowl a no ball. We would probably be so paranoid about not forgetting that we would forget to remember. We are like that.

Crime doesn’t pay. And certainly not those that involve so much work. Don’t do it kids. Stay in school. Learn Mathematics and become proficient in the use of a protractor.


I keep staring at this headline in the Pak v SL homepage on  cricinfo.

It reads “SL hold the advantage – Dilshan”. When I read it the first time I thought it was rather odd. Peculiar even.  He of course said this at the end of the 1st test. Sure Sri Lanka had  batted out  2 days to save the game. But to us  it seemed to be pushing it , just slightly, to say that SL held some sort of psychological advantage.

On Saturday any remaining advantage, real or imagined, was obliterated and the remains settled with the dust.

Just like that statement Sri Lankas performances have been quite odd. Peculiar. Left of Centre. On paper this is a decent side. Not the best Sri Lanka can put on the field. But competitive enough.

It is true that SL depend on some key players. But so do most other teams. Them failing hurts the team. But the issue here runs much deeper. SL as a team is failing collectively. `And don’t let the 1st test escape fool you. SL should have lost that game. Badly.

Sri Lankas batsmen couldn’t buy a run from the dollar shop. The openers does not inspire any confidence in being able to provide a solid start of any form. This has an immediate knock on affect where Sangakkara and Mahela are under ridiculous amounts of pressure. Knowing that Dilshan behind them also has run his luck into the ground cant be much fun either. If SL are serious about winning then Dilshan has to open. It is his best chance of scoring runs. It might even be only chance to stay in the team. Much of SLs strength lay in the dynamic Dilshan gave opening. Right now there is no vision about way things are being done. I mean are Paranavitana and Thirimanne being looked at as long term openers. I mean really. REALLY ?

Dilshan needs to grow a pair and open. Bin this obsession with batting in the middle. Couples go through bad patches all the time. Rearranging the furniture doesn’t make anything better. I would rather see him go out and try to lead from the front than see him being nailed by a 21 year old with the same ball.

To his credit Sangakkara looks like the only player who’s played an innings like he meant it. In 4 innings Mahela has answered the question so many people ask about why he doesn’t perform overseas. A good length ball outside off early always does him in. It has been his achillies from day1 to his 100 whatever tests he has played. With Mahela, you either get very low scores or big runs. Not much in between. He is now dropping the odd chance too. Cricket is a mental game. And cracks are appearing all over the SL walls.

Some one on cricinfo described Mathews as playing ‘another boy on burning deck’ innings. Honestly, its quite refreshing to see him score runs. But I dont see much point in him being 50 not out when SL are all out. There may even be a case for him to bat above Mahela. Mathews and Sangakkara have been the two inform batsmen in the side. Make the most of it.

The bowlers have been hugely disappointing. Herath is the only bowler with something close to experience. But he hasn’t shown it. While Ajmal looks threatening all the time. Herath has looked blunt. Boring and largely shite – bowling to relatively young Pakistani players. He hasn’t been able wear down anyone. The fast bowlers have looked like a cheap trick until Herath comes on. Out of a possible 40 wickets SL have picked up 17. Pakistan 38. It hasn’t been dominance. It has been gang rape into submission.

As a team this is the worst I have seen SL for a very long time. There is no leadership. Dilshan seems preoccupied with his own issues with the bat. They seem in a daze. Just like winning. Losing is also a habit. And it is hard to break bad ones. Every players self confidence has been drained. I don’t think any of them even believe they can win right now.It’s hard to expect too much from Marsh in his 2nd game.

These players aren’t incapable of good cricket. We certainly don’t have the answers. But if they are looking for a silver bullet for their problems we know of only one. Themselves.

sri lanka v pakistan 2011