We wanted to write something on new Pakistans demolition job over in the UAE. In hindsight the fact that Sri Lanka escaped with a 1-0 loss seems like a bloody good achievement.

Although we wanted to get something new up on Pakistan, we realised that somtimes to see how far you have come, it is good to see where you have been. Also, we sort of got lazy and the CB series came and we had all those pics of Lucy Pinder to peruse so we ran out of time and got outdated a little.

But here is something we wrote sometime ago when the SL team were shot up in Pakistan and cricket seemed to stop forever.

Pakistan and Q, welcome back my friends

I’m reading a novel these days. It’s about two boys,brothers. I will talk to you about one. Terry.

Terry was an exceptional sportsman in his small town. Through his excellence he won the adoration of the whole community. Everyone loved him. Then something bad happened to him. He got in a scuffle, had a knife to his thigh and it destroyed him. No more cricket, no more football, no more nothing. It took away everything he ever lived for. He was made a cripple. Without actually being one.

To cut a long story short, Terry got into a life of crime and went to prison. A friend helped him get out after some time. When he came out, he blew up something which blinded the friend who helped him get out.

Things were never the same.

Terry is Pakistan in this story. Pakistan is great cricket nation which has produced GREAT cricketers. After getting in a bad way, it has destroyed the only friends they had.

I dont know what’ is going to happen to Terry- mostly cuz I haven’t finished the book.

And we dont know what will happen to Pakistan – because it is too soon.

What we do know is this. Just like in the story, people made sacrifices to help Pakistan. Yesterday it was people, men like you and me. Laying down their lives to save people they probably dint even know that well. If at all.

For so long Cricket has danced an uncomfortable tango with terrorism. We knew it was there but we dint believe it could actually affect us. When Australia and the western world acted like pussies, I laughed at them. Today I am wrong and they have been proven right.

Cricket now owes the people who died for our ignorance. What we owe them is to make sure that Pakistan does not become some distant relative who we gradually lose touch with.

Pakistan must play cricket. As often as they can and wherever possible.

The Sri Lankans were hurt, but they are fine. It is Pakistan that need our attention.

There can be no inter-board politics at this point.

The boards and the officials need to make sure Pakistan get their up coming matches moved to some venue, any venue. Security risks must be addressed. Player demands met.

As for playing cricket again in Pakistan, that is not important. After all we cant have everything. Their people have taken a hit at the very core of their beliefs. Cricket was often ,a much loved, alternative to the hard lives they live. A safe place, a simple place where all that mattered was the contest between bat and ball. Before any team can go there, Pakistan needs to sort it self out. Which might be years or even decades.

I cant do anything to change the outcome of Terrys life. It is already written. Literally.

But there are certainly a lot of things the right people can do to shape Pakistans future as a cricket team and a brother in the cricket fraternity.

Otherwise, the lives that were lost would have been for nothing.

pakistan

Whoa, settle down ACSU. We were just kidding around. A joke really. Yes we know it’s not very funny.

You cant even say the words Spot Fixing at an airport anymore. Not unless you wanted some of your private spots examined by an airport security official with a deadpan look on their face. It’s just not on. See what happened to that Butt fella and his friends.

We certainly couldnt do it. It just sounds like a lot of work.

First, you need to know some dodgy characters. Or rather they have to find you. That is not easy. Not for them to find us. But for you to get them to find you. Then you would need a multitude of mobile phones and use them to make lots of phone calls. We don’t like getting on the phone to anyone.  Texting. Coordinating. Trying to convince others.

And all this while having to attend nets and oil your bat.

Even then, can you imagine trying to remember when to bowl a no ball. We would probably be so paranoid about not forgetting that we would forget to remember. We are like that.

Crime doesn’t pay. And certainly not those that involve so much work. Don’t do it kids. Stay in school. Learn Mathematics and become proficient in the use of a protractor.

pakistan

'If I get egg on my face, I will lick it off'

flyslip: Mr. Ijaz..
Ijaz: Pls call me Jabba..all my friends do so you might as well.

fs- ok… Jabba, can we start by you addressing allegations from Giles Clarke of the ECB that an entire cargo shipment of Duke cricket balls have gone missing because..you ate them all?

Jabba- oh please, not this again, I have told you people a million times, it was a small misunderstanding. Giles called me after the shipment arrived and asked me to rate the balls. So I put him on hold and had a nibble at one of them. I didn’t think much of them, but they were ok. So, I got carried away a little and finished 3-4 boxes. So what? How was I supposed to know he had meant how they perform during matches.

fs- I see, is it true that you have never left this office since you took over?

jabba-(slightly angered), Are you implying that I am fat, boy? Let me tell you this, alot of people have accused me of being overweight, so overweight that I haven’t actually moved for about 14 years from this current posistion. But I say to those people, is this something you can prove? Where is the proof? Just show me.

fs- Err..we only meant that you seem very dedicated to your job..but moving on..what are your comments on these fresh allegations of match fixing that have hit Pakistan cricket and what actions have you taken?

jabba- SO you really think we havent taken action. Tell me Mr. fancy blogger, if we were to take action against a cricketer, where do you think it would hurt them the most

fs- I guess their pay or being dropped…

jabba-Hahaha, god you are so ignorant, its the food you fool,  you cut off their food supply. That’s how we do things here at the PCB. You do the crime you loose your meal vouchers, in fact I have those vouchers sent directly to my offices.

fs- Wow, so who has had their vouchers confiscated?

jabba- Clever, you think I am just going to give you names?
I will give you a clue though, what would you do if your stomach was making embarrassing noises and you thought you would pass out, I guess you might put whatver you had in your hand in your mouth. Have you seen anyone do that recently…

fs- So you are saying  Afridi has been involved with Match Fixing?

jabba- Afridi? Who said anything about Afridi? I am only telling you about the procedure we carry out. Dont go putting words in my mouth. Because they are not very filling.

Excuse me for a minute..

(Gets on the intercom). Hello, has the buffet for 50 been set up ? Yes sir, it’s ready. Alright thanks.

jabba-Sorry we are going to have to cut this short. My lunch is ready and I don’t like to eat my food when its cold.

fs-ok, well thank you for your time, hope you have a good day.

jabba- Thanks, but remember, you don’t have any proof of that.

pakistan

bored cricket crazy indians flyslip pakistan pakistan v sri lanka sri lanka well pitched

I’m reading a novel these days. It’s about two boys,brothers. I will talk to you about one. Terry.

Terry was an exceptional sportsman in his small town. Through his excellence he won the adoration of the whole community. Everyone loved him. Then something bad happened to him. He got in a scuffle, had a knife to his thigh and it destroyed him. No more cricket, no more football, no more nothing. It took away everything he ever lived for. He was made a cripple. Without actually being one.

To cut a long story short, Terry got into a life of crime and went to prison. A friend helped him get out after some time. When he came out, he blew up something which blinded the friend who helped him get out.

Things were never the same.

Terry is Pakistan in this story. Pakistan is great cricket nation which has produced GREAT cricketers. After getting in a bad way, it has destroyed the only friends they had.

I dont know what’ is going to happen to Terry- mostly cuz I haven’t finished the book.

And we dont know what will happen to Pakistan – because it is too soon.

What we do know is this. Just like in the story, people made sacrifices to help Pakistan. Yesterday it was people, men like you and me.  Laying down their lives to save people they probably dint even know that well. If at all.

For so long Cricket has danced an uncomfortable tango with terrorism. We knew it was there but we dint believe it could actually affect us. When Australia and the western world acted like pussies, I laughed at them. Today I am wrong and they have been proven right.

Cricket now owes the people who died for our ignorance. What we owe them is to make sure that Pakistan does not become some distant relative who we gradually lose touch with.

Pakistan must play cricket. As often as they can and wherever possible.

The Sri Lankans were hurt, but they are fine. It is Pakistan that need our attention.

There can be no inter-board politics at this point.

The boards and the officials need to make sure Pakistan get their up coming matches moved to some venue, any venue. Security risks must be addressed. Player demands met.

As for playing cricket again in Pakistan, that is not important. After all we cant have everything. Their people have taken a hit at the very core of their beliefs. Cricket was often ,a much loved, alternative to the hard lives they live. A safe place, a simple place where all that mattered was the contest between bat and ball. Before any team can go there, Pakistan needs to sort it self out. Which might be years or even decades.

I cant do anything to change the outcome of Terrys life. It is already written. Literally.

But there are certainly a lot of things the right people can do to shape Pakistans future as a cricket team and a brother in the cricket fraternity.

Otherwise, the lives that were lost would have been for nothing.

pakistan pakistan cricket sri lanka v pakistan Uncategorized