I am not sure who or what they are. Except that they are pretty shit. Plus they can’t play cricket.

Even calling this team by it’s real name makes me squirm a little at the workplace. So I have decided not to call them by what they should be called.

At this point we are not sure if calling it the’ team Chris Gayle’s in’ is warranted considering even he seems to have given up even trying to score runs.

Supporting this team was so 80s. We like this team when it had that weird looking rapper play for them. You know the guy who sticks black duck tape on his face. We could at least call the team by his name if he was around. Not to be I guess.

If this team were an actual person it would be those guys in pornos who stand around the girl  wanking themselves off while shes being rammed up her arse by some other guy. They are in the scene but they arnt really part of anything. They show up for a fuck but leave with only their own dick in their hand.

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I like Chris Gayle. He is what every WI cricketer should be. Unflustered, cool and walking around with a swagger only players from the WI can pull off.

He is an uncompromising player too. Whether its  Test Cricket, ODIs or 2020 cricket, if the ball is there to be hit he will murder it. He loves to entertain and you can’t really argue with that. And although people may have felt he was a left field choice for captain when he was given the job, he has done a well leading his team and the WI have generally enjoyed a decent run in all forms of the game.

But now Chris is trying to fuck all that up.

Clearly his hearts not into test cricket. Along with all your skills and capabilities you need to have a love for test cricket to play it. Extending his IPL run, joining the test team 48 hours before the series starts pretty much means Chris can’t be arsed.

Of course Chris probably isn’t the first one to feel like this, I am pretty sure there are many cricketers in the International circuit who would be happy to turn up for the two months in the IPL and collect their paycheck.

But Chris is the first high profile player to come out and say that he couldn’t careless if test cricket took a back seat. Not only has this damaged test cricket but it also seems to have embarrassed a few of his predecessors in Sobers and King Viv, who seem to be desperately hoping he was misquoted.

Well tough nuts Chris, you aren’t the first sportsman to say some bullshit and then turn around and say you were misquoted. Of course the culprit is non other than Wing Commander Strauss – who got Gayle all riled up with his 48 hour comment. Hats off to him.

Its pretty immature and irresponsible for Chris to get tangled up in what is clearly an attempt by Strauss to needle him. For a captain of a test team to come out and say that the long format is not something he cares about is pretty much blasphemous.  Or maybe Strauss just caught him at the right time when Gayle was feeling guilty about the whole situation it self and spilled more than he intended.

If I were the WI management Id ask Gayle to step down and drop him from the test team. He clearly did not and does not want to be captain and has no ambition to play test cricket in the long term. That’s not a healthy thing for WI. A captain who doesn’t want the job and a player who is not too bothered if he makes a 100 or 0 playing for his country.

That is poison.  It is best to get rid of it when you can.

Gayle went onto say that Strauss shouldn’t sleep with ‘Chris Gayle on his mind’, (Wing Commander batting for the other side? Perish the thought!) well a good few other wont be anymore either.

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A new era of cricket is dawning.

Australia are wobbling and India seem to be the pretender to the throne.

England and South Africa are resurgent.

Sri Lanka is hitting above its weight consistently.

The Kiwis are rebuilding.

In between all this, Pakistan and WI have been in the doldrums. Pakistan don’t play cricket anymore. The team attends training camps ahead of test series and then finds out that the touring team wont show up because of a couple of bombs.

WI, also known as the International Shiv Chanderpaul Team, have been smoking weed and getting tans on the beach for too long.

How can this be. Both teams are packed with explosive players who can turn matches and heads with the bat and ball.

These are the countries that gave us Viv, Imran, Mushy, Ambrose.

I’m sick of seeing Pakistan promise so much and deliver so little.

I’m sick of seeing Gayle chew gum when the team is crumbling to pieces.

The cricket worlds needs these two power houses to step and play to their potential.

I want to see Shoaib and Taylor charge in with anger and send wickets cart wheeling to the boundary.

I want to see ‘Air Plane’ celebrations from Akthar.

I want to see Gayle pumping his fists after a 50.

I want to see chest thumping , ‘who da man’ antics from the WI quicks.

I wanna see some sledging, some ball tampering. Hell I don’t even mind a elbow or two thrown in their for good measure.

I wanna see Malik take responsibility and lead from the front and not be a pussy on the field.

Play some good cricket. Play it hard. Play it with passion.

chanderpaul jerome taylor pakistan pakistan cricket shoaib akthar shoaib malik west indies